Tales of the Parodyverse

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killer shrike adds to the ribaldry
Fri Sep 09, 2005 at 07:02:41 am EDT
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Great Parodyverse Moments #5 with Adult Content warning
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Great (Well, Great may be too strong a word; let’s just say Very Good for all participants involved) Parodyverse Moments #5: Forgotten Romance



The Real World had been especially unkind to Hallie today, so she retreated to one of her own making.

Her entrance to the Virtual World led to a sudden burst of action. Codes responded to her subconscious musings, creating a familiar and safe haven.

“Hey, Vizh,” she smiled at the man in the green sweatshirt who was drinking coffee on the overstuffed couch that dominated the art studio.

The simulacrum of the possibly fake man smiled back and went about pouring a cup for his friend, “Hey, yourself. You look beat. Rough day at the Virtual Office?”

The hologram with the “naturally” jade complexion plopped down and sighed, “Just trying to do my part. It’s hard to coordinate disaster relief you’ve got so many key places off the Grid. I wish I could do more.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Visionary handed Hallie her expected French Roast with chicory Decaf; “You can only do what you can.”

Hallie shook her head, “I know. I know what I’m doing is important, but part of me wants to be there. Boots on the ground like the rest of the team. Of course, all I’m doing here is bellyache.”

“So what? You’re entitled to gripe from time to time. It’s not like your life is perfect, you know.”

“Right,” she looked at her couch mate for a moment, “You know there’s something seriously messed up about me looking for solace from an entity whose every response I dictate.”

Visionary shrugged, “At this point I’m programmed to remind you that what you’re doing now is analogous to when humans daydream, and as such hardly pathological.”

“Right,” the AI repeated, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Would you like to make out?”

“Not now, thanks. ‘Bye Vizh,” and with a superfluous gesture Hallie exiled this particular scenario to its appropriate file. She stood alone in the white landscape of unarranged cyberspace, sipping her coffee, tasting the sequences of code she had designed to replicate the properties of the strong, hot beverage.

“What the Hell,” she decided, “1/09/05: Pool. Bystander Function Operative. Set on Pause.”

The vast expanse suddenly contracted and filled with color and texture. The setting was now identical to the Mansion’s basement swimming pool if one only considered the visual component. The reverberations that accompanied every noise, the bracing smell of chlorine, the pregnant dampness in the air, were all stimuli yet to be reproduced.

Hallie walked (sans echo) to the edge and observed herself with a critical eye. It was her human body that she witnessed: back when her form was constrained by three dimensions and the pull of gravity. Right now the meat shell she once wore was stretched out in mid-back stroke, clumsily trying to make her way across the length of the pool. A quick edit replaced the “SpongeBob” bathing cap she wore with something more staid. Her work done, the hologram turned her attention to the other participant in this file.

Dominic was just closing the heavy oaken door that led out to the changing rooms. For an instant Hallie considered altering it so that he resembled his current physiology. The age regression had done wonders for his hairline, but she had found much to admire in his mature appearance. She kept him as is (or was it was?): broad and rough-hewn even in his Sunday best.

Satisfied, Hallie executed the proper command to set her memories to Display.

“Good morning,” Mr. Epitome called over the reverberated sounds of Hallie’s splashings. He walked over to the side of the pool that the emerald-hued young woman was swimming towards. He had his dark blue suit jacket slung over his right shoulder, and had loosened his necktie.

Hallie stopped her more frantic paddling and waded the rest of the way, “Hello, Dominic. You’re looking dapper. Going to a meeting?”

“Coming from one, actually. Church. My yearly pilgrimage.”

“Oh,” Epitome had referenced his Catholic upbringing in passing before, but only just. He had said he had lapsed in recent years when it came to attending services, “Any special occasion?”

Dominic dropped the jacket on the diving board where Hallie placed her towel and glasses. He squatted down so his face would be less of a blur to the astigmatism-afflicted woman, “It’s close to an anniversary of a death in my family. I go, light a candle, and give Confession.”

“And did you have a lot to confess?” Hallie asked playfully, noting that he himself was smiling at his itinerary.

“Of course. We’re all sinners, Hallie. Fortunately for us God forgives, and fortunately for me I have the super-speed to help with all the rosaries I had to say,” his smile widened slightly after his self-flagellation, “Are you getting out?”

“Not yet,” the young woman answered as she swam in place, “So what if you don’t have a soul? Are you a sinner then?”

“People have a soul whether they want to believe in them or not,” Dominic reasoned as he unbuttoned his cuffs so as to roll up his shirtsleeves.

“What about me? Do you think I have a soul?” Hallie asked curiously.

“I think you do, yes. Your creator didn’t… design you to have a soul, but it’s there.”

“What makes you believe that?”

Epitome stared straight into her eyes, “I think you’ve earned one. Through the love you’ve shown others, and the sacrifices you’ve made to protect them.”

Hallie found herself looking away from Epitome’s gaze. She felt her heart begin to beat faster, as if she was back to doing laps in the pool and not just treading water.

“Oh,” she managed to get out despite the sudden cotton mouth.

“I’ve embarrassed you. I’m sorry.”

Hallie calmed herself enough to object, “No, no, you haven’t. It’s just that, a cynical person would hear all this talk of original sins and earned souls and say it’s a bunch of malarkey.”

“More cynical than me?” Dominic arched an eyebrow in mock incredulity, “Are you sure you don’t want to get out?”

“Nope. I’m fine.”

“You’re in that pool a lot.”

“I like to swim.”

“Ever think of swimming in real water?”

“As in the ocean? It’s a bit nippy in Paradopolis Bay right now.”

“Then go somewhere warm. Tahiti.”

“Maybe. Someday.”

“Someday can come and go before you know it.”

“Noted.”

“I’m just saying, you can’t hide down here forever. You can’t let the plans you made go to waste just because you’re not a hologram anymore.”

The admonition stung the young woman, but she tried not to show it, “Thank you, Ann Landers.”

“You’re welcome,” Epitome tried to sound glib, but his body language betrayed him. He rubbed his wrists, and he had the fretful expression of someone with more to say.

There was a halt to the conversation. The echoes of Hallie’s breathing, labored from both activity and anxiety, filled the void.

“I sounded like an ass before. I’m sorry,” Epitome finally broke the silence, “I implied you are a coward and a quitter, and you’re the furthest thing from those. Your transformation to flesh and blood is equivalent to a traumatic, life-altering injury, and I’m chiding you for not recovering fast enough.”

“You meant well. I know that. You weren’t trying to hurt my feelings or anything. Especially after that beautiful compliment you gave me earlier.”

“Mmmhmm. How are Harper’s efforts to restore your digital form going?”

Hallie snorted, “Typical. One mention of the “F” word and you go ahead and change the subject.”

“Heh. I’m that obvious, am I? I’d like to point out that you’re not one to bare your soul with great ease yourself. It’s one of the things I like about you.”

“I’m Chatty Cathy compared to you, mister. Now come on, tell me what you’re feeling. They say confession is good for the soul,” the young woman teased.

Dominic thought a moment, “All right. I feel… extremely honored to have the attention of the most fascinating woman in the Parodyverse; especially since I’ve had the pleasure of seeing her in her swimsuit for the past fifteen minutes.”

“Yes, well, you could see me in less than that, Mr. X-Ray Vision, if you wanted,” Hallie shot back with an uneasy smile.

“Could I?”

From the man’s tone it was obvious the question was not rhetorical, “Yes,” the young woman heard herself saying.

“Ahm, you understand that that I’m asking you to-“

She did, “Dominic,” Hallie stated softly, “I think I’m ready to get out of the pool now.”

Epitome did not hesitate. He leaned forward on the balls of his feet and plunged his arms into the water. Taking Hallie firmly by the waist Dominic lifted her out. Before her feet even touched the ground Hallie had coiled herself around his body and kissed him, their contact soaking his Oxford, plastering the fabric against his muscular frame. Their hands began to roam, and their fondlings pulled away accessories: a bathing cap, a necktie, shirt buttons, suit straps…

“OK, wait…wait…” Hallie gasped as Dominic kissed her neck, “We can’t do this here.”

Epitome stopped long enough to agree, “Your room, then?”

The former computer intelligence instinctively tried to access the Mansion’s security system to see what potential witnesses were on sight. Her efforts were naturally fruitless, “Crap! I mean, yes.”

The pair gathered their belongings and hurried to the elevator. While waiting for it to descend Hallie slipped on her glasses. She smiled coyly at Dominic, “You look like you didn’t have enough sense to come in from the rain.”

He reached over to smooth the woman’s mussed hair, “You appear a bit worn down by the elements yourself,” as his hand trailed downward to stroke her cheek, her collarbone, her-

“Elevator’s here,” she warned. There was the sound of chimes, and the door slid open. Both were relieved to find it empty.

After stepping inside and hitting the button for the ground floor Epitome strategized, “It’s twenty seven yards to the stairwell. Up two flights and then past five doors to your quarters,” he grinned, “Think we can make it?”

Hallie grabbed Dominic’s right haunch and squeezed appreciatively, “I think I can restrain myself until then.”

*****


“1011000101011001!” Hallie panted over the creak of bedsprings.

Dominic gave a quizzical look at his partner, who blushed a bright emerald in reaction to her lapse.

Hallie drew a ragged breath and cuffed Epitome’s ear impatiently with her shin, “What? You’ve never heard binary code before? Keep going!”

*****


Dominic slid under the blanket next to Hallie and gave her a congratulatory pat on the fanny, “Great game, rookie.”

The young woman’s responding laugh had a hint of nervousness to it, “Flatterer. Do you say that to all the girls you deflower?”

“I haven’t had many other opportunities. Just one, actually.”

“Oh?” Hallie perked up.

Epitome wrapped an arm around her and drew her closer, “We were just kids, and had no clue. Afterward she cried; I cried. Just a big mess.”

Hallie was surprised to hear Dominic admit weakness, even if it was in relation to an event two decades prior. His tone was surprisingly somber, “I bet she wouldn’t have cried if you did that trick with the ice cubes.”

He smiled, “That’s something I learned later in my travels.”

“It was a very Un-Republican thing to do.”

“I’ll have you know that cunnilingus is a major plank in the GOP platform,” Dominic countered with a grin.

Hallie laughed and nuzzled Epitome’s bare chest, “Hey, sign me up.”

They were silent for a long while, Hallie resting her cheek on Dominic while he absently stroked his callused fingers the length of her back. Finally she asked the question she was dreading, “So now what?”

“I’d recommend a shower; separately this time, and a trip to the laundry room. Unless you want Flapjack to find your sheets.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Hallie raised her head, “You do everything for a reason, so what’s the reason behind this? What’s next? Are we a, uh, couple, or is this a one-time thing?”

“What do you want it to be?” he stroked her chin.

“What do you want it to be?”

“I think… it’s a moment that reminds us both that being human isn’t necessarily a bad thing. That’s its not just physical or emotional weakness, but there are chances for happiness as well. Does that make sense?”

Hallie, who had issues with her new body and its limitations, and who certainly knew Dominic had problems dealing with the personal concerns of himself and others, nodded, “Yes. That’s very well put.”

“And, uh, I certainly wouldn’t mind being human with you again, if you so wish,” he offered.

She smiled and leaned over to kiss him, “I think that’s a conspiracy I can get behind.”

“Scenario off,” Hallie, the “real”, digital Hallie commanded. The pair froze in mid embrace. Hallie stood from her easy chair and loomed over the couple.

“Chances for happiness,” she repeated Dominic’s earlier assertion ruefully. It didn’t seem so likely now: she had been killed and reborn Virtual, her organic body long gone and (mostly) unlamented. Epitome had stolen from her to further his own agenda, showing that he was willing to sacrifice her trust to serve his country. And even trumping those obstacles was his own transformation to an identity who could never remember that moment of being human. It might as well have been that that morning never happened, for all it mattered now.

Hallie sighed and mentally checked her Inbox. The messages were piling up: requests for aid and information to help her team deal with the effects of the latest threat to peace and security in the Parodyverse. It was time to return to it.


Footnotes:

Not much to comment on here, except that this story solves the small mystery of who Hallie slept with when she was still organic. As mysteries go, its not exactly what happened to Jimmy Hoffa, but it seemed like a good time to tell the tale, given the theme of recent stories.

Hallie’s musings at the end of the story refer to events in some earlier posts. Hallie died and subsequently regained her digital form fighting to save Visionary from the time traveling villainy of Humboldt Vernal in “The Sepulcher of Destiny.” Epitome stole samples of Hallie’s blood in order to see if it could be used to destroy the Fairly Old Ones that have plagued the Parodyverse from time to time. Hallie learned of this deception during the still unfinished “Heart of Darkness” storyline, again, while she was trying to save Visionary. I look forward to seeing if Hallie is the one who saves Vizh from his current, er, predicament with Vermillion Vex. And lastly, Mr. Epitome was mindwiped and regressed in age in his own series by his old girlfriend/enemy the Idiom in order to stop him from doing anything especially nasty to the other heroes of the PVB (and his author was bored with the status quo of the character). To this date only Fleabot is aware of the reasons behind Epitome’s change.

















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